COREY SULLIVAN retired from an illustrious career on the professional Rock-Em Sock-Em Robots circuit, and, looking to fill his free time, opened up the legendary Norsk Studios. And the rest… is history.

COURTNEY SULLIVAN arrived in a package one day after a mixup with the post office. There was no return address, and from her wily hair and hungry eyes, it was clear she had been raised in the wild. Naturally, Corey married her.

It’s strongly rumored that TYLER “T CUP” HOWARD is the illegitimate love child of Ron Swanson and the Tasmanian Devil, but we’re no TMZ, and with a face this cute, we just couldn’t bare to ask.

AMBER MURPHY, at least we think that’s her name, used to work for ——-, and now she doesn’t. That’s all the government will allow us to say about that. But whatever she did, her skill set has rolled over to make her a badass piercer! Hmm..